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XLIX

ON THE GLOOMY DARKNESS WHICH DURING SOLITUDE BEFALLS THOSE WHO WALK IN THE DISCIPLINE OF KNOWLEDGE

 

At the time of obscurity, more than any thing kneeling is helpful. And even the fact that thou art not able to offer this [unto God] and to cling to it, is [an act of war] on the part| of Satan. It is thy duty to fight against this. For Satan knows the help [provided] by kneeling; therefore he strives with his whole power to withhold thee from offering it. And when thou art near to falling on thy face, he will trouble thee. And even if thou vanquishest him and bendest thy knees he will force thee not to abide by it.

Even if our emotions are cold and dark, we should persevere in kneeling. Even if our heart be dead at these times; even if we are destitute of prayer, so that we know not what to .say in that even words of beseeching will not come to us, nor supplication – even then we should be found prostrated constantly, even if in silence.

If we need any help from God, yet remain destitute of help, {342} we rightly do not obtain it, because we do not approach unto God in prayer with zeal and fervour, night and day, crying to Him in pain, because we expect that He will give it us spontaneously. But He contrives an intermediate cause that we should approach unto Him, by leaving us in trouble. And by His refraining from delivering us, He produces our help in that we prolong [our standing] at His door in prayer.

But we, when helpful things come to us, are stupefied and hesitating and we deliver ourselves to despondency and aversion and dejection, and we are colder than water. Under all evils and temptations which befall thee, from without and from within, the way of prayer lies before thee. Fall on thy face, even if for a day and night only and beseech God with a passionate heart. And God, who is merciful and good, will not hesitate to give consolation and relief when He sees that thou beseechest Him in the pain of thy heart, except thou shouldst not ask in the [right] way.

During thy whole life thou hast to act thus. Thou wilt gain and lose. And then thou shalt beseech in pain and He will give thee. And again He will go away from thee; and now thou wilt meet with such a thing that thou wilt think that the end of all has come. And when thou askest Him, in the next hour it will have disappeared. Thus this course has been ordained; be not dejected.

During that time of deep darkness that lies upon the soul, we have to be watchful against dejection. Listen to me, o my brother, fight against [the inclination] to leave thy cell, as a {343} woman in travail against her pains, and as a man who bears| tortures. For the foe greatly purposes, more than anything, to make thee leave thy cell, under the pretext of being unable to endure, at the time of struggle. And with all his power he will compel thee to go outdoors, lest, staying, thou shouldst seek refuge with kneeling. Greatly, more than anything, is he afraid of this act.