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LXXIX

HOW THE HIDDEN IMPULSES VARY ALONG WITH THE VARIATION OF OUTWARD BEHAVIOUR

 

As long as a man clings to renunciation [the thought of] departure from this life is continually alive in his mind. And every hour he meditates on the life after resurrection, contriving to prepare what is necessary for that state. And a contempt for all honour and comfort of the body is sown in his mind, and the thought of the baseness of the world moves in him at all times. And he is courageous and always possesses the heart of a hero in all fear and danger threatening death. For he is not afraid even of death, because he perpetually looks at it very near from a short distance and expects it. And his care is cast on God, with full, undoubting confidence. And when troubles oppose him, he, as a man that knows assuredly that they will prepare crowns for him, bears them with perfect joy, while his soul rejoices and exults when receiving {539} them. For he knows that it is God who sends them, because of the profits of things which remain unknown, in the hidden acts of providence. But when it happens that on account of some cause some transitory thing falls to his lot by the action of him that cunningly devises all evils, at once love of the body begins to stir in his soul and he thinks of a long life and deliberations connected with bodily comfort germinate in him every moment. But, if possible, he witholds his body from being hurt by anything. And he contrives all things which can be utilized for the comfort of the body, and becomes wanting in that freedom which is not subject to any deliberation of fear, and consequently bestows his care and deliberation on| all these things, namely the emotions that cause fear and the things that produce terror. For the courage of the heart has been taken away from him, which he possessed in his soul while he was exalted above the world by his renunciation. And now that he has become an inheritor of the world, in accordance with the quantity of his possession he also has received fear for the law and the provision allotted to him by God.

For the side to the service of which we prepare our members, is that to which we become servants with a submission involving total fear, according to the word of the Apostle1.

Anterior to all affictions is self–love. Anterior to all virtues is that a man despise comforts. He that feeds his body with comforts, is troubled in the place of peace. He that indulges in luxury in his youth, will become a slave and sigh at the end.

{540} As it is impossible that he, whose head is bound within the dark2 bosom of the water, should smell the subtle air which is poured out into this empty bosom, so it is not possible that he whose mind is immersed in earthly care, should perceive with the smell of his soul the clear air of the new world. As the smell of a deadly poison disturbs the constitution of the body, so does pernicions sight disturb the peace of the mind.

As it is not possible that health and illness should be in one body without one being destroyed by the other, so it is not possible that money and love be in one house without one destroying the other. As it is not possible that glass remains whole in the neighbourhood of stone, so it is not possible that a saint should continually seek the sight of or discourse with a woman and that his purity should remain immaculate. As trees are eradicated by the perpetual blows3 of violent waters, so is the love of the world [eradicated] from the heart by the violence of temptations assailing the body. As4 solvent drugs purify the body from bad humours, so does the force of troubles purify the heart from affections. As it is not possible that a dead man should perceive the things of life, so the soul of a solitary, who is buried in solitude as in a grave, is exempt from the storm which usually blows on account of the apperception of things which pass among men. As it is not possible for him that spares his adversary in the field of {541} battle to avoid blows, so it is not possible that a champion| should spare his body and that his soul should be saved from destruction. As childhood, when terrified by frightful sights runs to seek refuge at the skirts of its parents, so the soul, when troubled by the terror of temptations, hastens towards God to seek shelter in perpetual beseechings. And as temptations assail, to the same extent it multiplies its beseechings. But when it has free–space, it expands itself in distraction.

As those who are handed over to the judges in order to be scourged on account of their evils, become humble and immediately confess their faults, when they come suddenly before the scourges, so that their punishment is lessened and they are soon delivered through the agency of small troubles, but others of them are foolish and obstinate and their scourging is augmented and at last, after much scourging, with lacerated backs, they confess against their will, without gaining any profit; so when we are handed over from divine mercy unto justice, for the faults to which we have become accustomed without returning to the [good] direction, and the Judge of the world orders us to stretch ourselves before the rod of temptations, lest our scourging in the world to be, become heavy; if, as soon as the rod of the Judge approaches us, we humble ourselves and recollect our forfeits and confess before the avenger, we shall soon be saved by small temptations; but if we become obstinate in troubles, and confess not that we were the cause of them ourselves and that we have {542} deserved even more than these, and if we vituperate men and sometimes demons and sometimes even God’s justice and assume the attitude of victors though we do not think and say that our works are like theirs, and if we do not think of the fact that God knows and recognizes us better than we do ourselves, and that the judgment of the Lord is over the whole earth and that no man is chastised without His orders, then our distresses assail us as they come, and our trouble becomes violent, and they hand us over the one to its fellow as in a chain, till we know ourselves and become humble and perceive our sins; for without apperception it is not possible for us even to come to [good] direction; then at last when we have suffered many troubles, we confess our sins in a confession without profit and without gathering from it any consolation. And also this that a man perceives his sins, is a gift which is allotted by God to the mind, when He sees that one| has been fatigued by various temptations, lest he depart this world under all these distresses and troubles, without profit; and [also this is a gift: to perceive] that we have not lacked insight on account of obstinacy, but on account of ignorance.

Some depart this world under these circumstances, without confessing that they are guilty, but litigating and vituperating. God, however, who is compassionate, looks to whether they humble themselves, that He may forgive them and give them expansion. Not only that He will put an end to their temptation, but He will even forgive their sins at a faint confession of their heart.

As a man who offers a large offering to the king and tries {543} to make his face benignant, so he that sheds tears in prayer before God, the king of all the worlds, makes to pass away all the degrees of his sins, and is even granted to see His–face benignant. As the lamb that leaves the pen, and in its error comes before the den of the wolves, so is the solitary who separates himself from the communion of his fellows under the pretext of lonely dwelling, and constantly visits spectacles and the distraction of the town.

As a man who bears on his shoulder a pearl of great price and goes on an ill–famed way so that he is in perpetual fear of being robbed, so is he that bears the pearl of chastity and walks in the world the way of the enemies. Before he enters the chamber of the grave, which is the place of confidence, it is not to be expected that it will escape robbers and pluderers. Perhaps he that is not afraid, is able [to go that way]; even this man does not know either, on which spot or from where or at which moment he will suddenly be assailed and robbed of his hope. Some are robbed at the gate of their house, namely in old age.

As a man who drinks wine at the time of mourning and gets drunk and forgets all the suffering of his sorrow, so is he that, having got drunk by the love of God in this world which is a place of wailing, forgets his sorrow and all his distress and, through his drunkenness, becomes apathetic against all the affections of sin.

Whose heart is supported by hope in God, his soul is a swift beast of wings. He whose spirit is at all times exalted above the earth and who flies above the sky with the thoughts {544} of his deliberations, and is in continual prayer, is as a man| who has the wind as his driving animal, so that his enemy cannot reach him. Every time the latter seeks to join him, he flies away from him.

As a man who has an advocate in the court of justice, so is he that is compassionate to the troubled ones.

As a man who is amidst dangerous storms on the ocean and casts his utensils from the ship, so is he that despises the hindrances on his godly way in this world which is an ocean ready to suffocate him.

Hindrances will not fail. What doest thou in a house which is not thine? The sight of a corpse ought to be for thee an instruction concerning thy departure from here. Why doest thou multiply bonds to thyself? Gain thy life before thy light grow dim and thou seek help without finding it. This life has been given thee for repentance; do not spend it with various things.

The cross is the gate of mysteries; here takes place the entrance of the mind unto the knowledge of the heavenly mysteries. The knowledge of the cross is hidden within the sufferings of the cross. And in accordance with communion with them is the apperception of the cross, according to the word of the Apostle5. The greater place the suffering of Christ takes in us, the greater becomes our consolation in Christ. Consolation means contemplation, which is psychic sight. Sight gives birth to consolation. It is not possible that our soul produce spiritual fruits, except when our heart is dead to the world. For the Father quickens the soul that has died the death of Christ, in contemplation of all the worlds.

Another observation. If thou diest not to the world, the {545} spiritual Adam will not be quickened in thee. When a man, by being offered spiritually, dies to all dealings of this dwelling–place, and trusts his life to the life after the resurrection, Grace will dwell with him. And his behaviour is spiritually strengthened. And when he hates the world, he perceives the behaviour of the new man who is exalted above the filth of human habitation and is deemed worthy of divine revelations.

It is not possible for us to be dead to the world in the world, as long as our mind desires comforts, and the world, by its affairs, is placed before our senses and by apperception| renews recollection and incites the body unto seeking what it wishes, by close contact with [worldly] things, by sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste.

The soul’s being dead to the world is the heart’s being free from the thought of its recollections and the soul’s being void of the deliberations concerning [worldly] things and the will being cut off from the love of thinking upon them.

For it is not possible that our heart be in peace exalted above disturbance and in serenity of love lifted up above the world, when there are poured out into it recollections that renew through meetings with things by the senses, their receptacles. The mortification of the soul to the world cannot be acquired, if not the body be also beyond apperception and sight of things.

1 Cf. Rom. 8, 15

2 litt.: thick

3 ...

4 Introduction

5 Cf. Philipp. 4, 10